tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6398558017257954225.post7153018360140762366..comments2013-10-11T02:49:44.187-07:00Comments on The Mountain: A scattering of wordsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621278152886640576noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6398558017257954225.post-29624564544885705142012-09-02T13:30:41.874-07:002012-09-02T13:30:41.874-07:00I think that writing this all in one go was the be...I think that writing this all in one go was the best thing I could do really; it's rough but has the flavour I was thinking of when I typed in the first few words, right to the end.<br /><br />Thanks for the feedback Ravens, see you below the line at Terribleminds next Friday!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06621278152886640576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6398558017257954225.post-58054377139643815762012-08-31T10:32:04.693-07:002012-08-31T10:32:04.693-07:00Nice story. I liked his change of heart at the end...Nice story. I liked his change of heart at the end, and that he still could flip back. Or might be forced to, depending on the choice made. I like the dinginess, the feeling of just being fed up with it all.<br />Pretty good for a fast job - sometimes those are the best for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6398558017257954225.post-48839451888636583072012-08-31T10:31:36.253-07:002012-08-31T10:31:36.253-07:00My pleasure, James!
I've been reading Chuck&...My pleasure, James! <br /><br />I've been reading Chuck's site for a while now, but mostly back-pages, writing discussions and such. Only recently started the feed, and started noticing the challenges. I've done the last couple. They've been useful. I've never worked much in flash before, so it's been kind of cool to play along. I've tried to keep up with everyone else's posts, too, just to see who's doing what and what I can learn from 'em... JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6398558017257954225.post-13179282967145063102012-08-31T09:38:36.857-07:002012-08-31T09:38:36.857-07:00Thanks for the thumbs up JD, much appreciated.
I ...Thanks for the thumbs up JD, much appreciated.<br /><br />I think you're absolutely right about the things you picked up on. I'd like to do maybe three or four more drafts because the prose feels a bit flabby in places and if I ever have the time to post a revised version, it would probably also be a little bit longer.<br /><br />I'm just trying to keep up with the weekly challenges though! :) I'm already two behind and catching up is hard work, so I'm glad I was at least able to put something out there that was interesting.<br /><br />Thanks again for taking time to leave a comment JD, there's still a little bit of thinking for me to do on this one.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06621278152886640576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6398558017257954225.post-60758928905104807962012-08-31T07:10:34.625-07:002012-08-31T07:10:34.625-07:00Ooh, nice. I didn't see that coming.
I liked...Ooh, nice. I didn't see that coming. <br /><br />I liked the way that everything in the story was stale - the chair, the fries, Hendrick's gray face, the burger, etc. Lent nicely to the mood and the need for a change in the protagonist.<br /><br />You mentioned this was written quickly. If you're planning future drafts, here's my main critical thought. If you're not, then good show and write on, ignore the next paragraph :).<br /><br />I'm wondering if there was enough of a catalyst to his change; surely he'd had this experience and these thoughts before, re: black holedom etc. Surely he'd considered family and kids. So the question "why now?" came to mind. <br /><br />But it was a weak, struggling question, because the situation and the writing in general did carry me along for quite the nice ride. Good work!JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.com